By now you've most likely heard of, or have even watched, the video of Judge William Adams, the Texas judge beating his then 16-year-old daughter with a belt, and the controversy that it's caused.  The video was secretly taken by his daughter in 2004 while she was a minor.  Now 23-years-old she has posted the video on YouTube and Reddit where the video has gone viral, including a Today Show interview.

Before I post a link to the video, I want to make it clear that it may be disturbing to some viewers.  In fact, it should be disturbing to most, if not all viewers simply for the fact that this is in reality a first-hand look at what goes on in a bedroom where child abuse happens.  How do I know?  Because I could have taken the same exact video in my own bedroom, only it was with a wooden paddle and not a leather belt.  And while the marks are still slightly visible, along with the broken blood vessels and chronic pain of sitting for more than an hour, the memories are pushed into the back of the mind until something like this surfaces.

There's a lot of comments out there from people stating that they remember taken beatings like that, and they are glad that their parents disciplined them like that.  Or that the girl most likely was a habitual behavior problem, or troublemaker and needed that kind of discipline.  I've seen posts from people saying that it's a common thing in the south for children to be raised with a firm hand and tight belt, and that what the video shows is nothing more than firm discipline, and in no way abuse.  Well, I'm here to tell you that people are dreadully mistaken, and truly have no concept of what abuse really is.

Now, I'm not going to try an use some cliche phrase like "until you've walked in their shoes....", but the reality is that you can't understand what it's like to be abused until you have had to live with the fear and pain that you experience in that situation.  You can't understand the psychological damage that is done until you are litterally afraid to stand up and fight for yourself because you know that if you do you'll be punished for it when you get home.  I used to run home from school, or take an alternate route, just so I didn't have to face a group of kids that were 2 grades below me.  The reason...because I knew if my father saw me in a fight, a shoving match, or whatever the case may be that I would be paddled at home, and then grounded for weeks, or even months on end.  It may sound like I'm embellishing the truth of the matter, but I assure you that I'm not.  The sad part is that this reality compounded the problem, because then I was looked at as a coward who ran home from school from the younger kids.  Anyone reading this who went to school with me can most likely relate to it, and it may answer some of the questions that they had back then.

When I finally got tired of it and made my stand my senior year, once again I was knocked down.  I remember vividly walking down the stairs from the second floor by the office to my next class, and Bruce Holisky knocking my books out of my hands.  As I watched my papers and pens land on the bottom floor, I stopped, took a breath, turned around, walked back up the stairs and pushed Bruce across the hall.  He returned the shove, and the match was quickly broken up by a teacher.  We both got detention, but that was where his punishment ended, and mine began.  The next day my father pulled me out of school, and a week later enrolled me in home schooling.  I had to restart my senior year because my credits didn't transfer, and missed out on all of the things senior year means to someone.

This is just a very small look into what I personally dealt with as a child.  I'm not going to go into detail of the first 17 years of my life, because it's not going to change the fact of how I grew up.  Likewise, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I never got into trouble, or that I was on my best behavior at all times because that is honestly not the case at all.  But what I will tell you is that I know what abuse is, and I know what the effects of it are, both physically and psychologically.  Aubrey and Ashlyn will never know what it's like to deal with something like that, although they will understand the meaning behind the discipline that Missy and I give them.  And that it what makes it effective...understanding why you're being punished, not fearing it.

I haven't spoken to my father in years, not because I don't want to have a relationship with him, but because I refuse to subject my family to the abuse that he shows even to this day.  Unless something changes at some point he will never know what it's like to hold his grandchildren, or be a part of their lives.  And while some people may say that I'm wrong, or that as a grandparent he deserves to be in their lives, the truth of the matter is those people again have no idea what it's like to be abused.

Below is a link to the video.  There are a bunch more out there, so if this one goes down at some point, you should still be able to find it.  I'm not going to embed a copy of the video in this post, simply because I refuse to have any material showing this type of content on my site.  That's my choice, and I appreciate you respecting that decision.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFVHmpPwDUY

** UPDATE (11/11/11) **

Adams has been served a restraining order effectively, preventing him from visiting his now 10-year-old daughter without first getting his ex-wife's permission.  The original story published in the Washington Post can be viewed here

** UPDATE (11/23/11) **

The Texas Supreme Court has suspended Adams "pending the outcome of the inquiry started earlier this month by the State Commission on Judicial Conduct".  The original story can be found posted on MSNBC can be viewed here and the order handed down by the Texas Supreme Court can be viewed here.

 ** UPDATE (11/8/12) **

The Texas Supreme Court has now lifted the previous suspension on Adams. The following is an article originally posted here.

The Texas Supreme Court on Tuesday lifted its suspension of a South Texas judge shown in a video beating his teenage daughter.

Justices had suspended Aransas County Court-at-Law Judge William Adams with pay in November 2011 while the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct investigated the 2004 incident. The commission issued a public warning to Adams on Sept. 6.

In its one-page order Tuesday, the justices approved an agreement between Adams and the commission asking that the suspension be lifted. As part of the agreement, Adams had waived his right to appeal the public warning, which is essentially a public reprimand with no other consequences.

The action allows Adams to return to his judicial duties in the Gulf Coast town of Rockport, Texas, immediately.

Adams' older daughter, Hillary Adams, uploaded the 2004 video to YouTube just over a year ago. The video shows William Adams repeatedly whipping his then-16-year-old daughter with a belt for illegally downloading music.

The nearly eight-minute video viewed millions of times shows the judge lashing Hillary in the legs more than a dozen times and growing increasingly irate while she screams and refuses to turn over on a bed to be beaten.

"Lay down or I'll spank you in your (expletive) face," Adams screams as Hillary wails and pleads for him to stop.

Adams' former wife and Hillary's mother, Hallie Adams, expressed disappointment in the decisions of the state commission and Supreme Court.

"Hillary and I are both really sad today," she said. "I had really hoped the judicial review process would work. I had really wanted to see the public protected."

Messages were left with the commission, William Adams' attorney and Hillary Adams. In an email, a State Bar of Texas spokesman declined to comment.

The Aransas County district attorney said at the time the online video created a national sensation that too much time had passed to bring criminal charges against the judge.

Adams doesn't come up for re-election until 2014. However, county commissioners voted earlier this year to cut his 2013 salary by 1.6 percent to $144,000. Other elected county officials received a 2 percent cost-of-living increase.

Also, Adams may no longer preside over the physical domestic abuse cases that previously comprised much of his court docket. At the time the investigation began, Commissioner Howard Baldwin of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services had told County Attorney Richard Bianchi that the department did not believe Adams could serve in the best interest of children and parents in abuse or neglect cases. Bianchi told the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on Tuesday that the agency has modified its request to apply only to cases involving violence with children, which will be filed in state district court.