It's amazing how things change

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or that I hadn't noticed it before, but things change pretty dramatically over the years.  I'm not just talking about age or technology or even moving from one area to another.  The changes that I'm referring to are the emotional and psychological changes that I'm assuming we all go through.

When I was growing up, I had a whole different outlook on life.  I was far from being the most popular in school, and seemed like the one who everyone defaulted to picking on.  My homelife consisted of a father who rivaled some of the well-known dictators in history, and a mother who still struggles with having the backbone to take charge of her life.  And yet somehow all these things, regardless of how dysfunctional they may be, made me the person that I am today.  The person that many would have said that I could never have become.  I would even go as far as saying that I didn't even think that I would be where I am now, and that I feel very fortunate that I have had the opportunities that I have.

But what has really hit me is the fact that I look at my wife, my kids, and the life that we've built together, and I have to say that it's amazing how everything came about.  Missy and I met online almost 13 years ago after both of us had bad luck with our first marriages.  We had somewhat of a rough start with me taking the cable contractor job and being on the road, and then the problems that stemmed from my computer store.  But we stuck together and made it through even though some people were telling us to move on.  And after seven years of being together we decided to try the whole marriage thing again.  By this time I was already working in Pittsburgh, driving back and forth to DuBois every weekend to be with her.  And then a year later we get the call that changes our lives forever.

Aubrey was 3 years old when we brought her over a month after mom moved to Pittsburgh in 2007.  We were already talking about starting a family, but had no idea that we would be faced with the reality of the situation in the way that we were.  We had so many things to figure out in such little time, and here we had a little girl who depended on us 100%.  So, one decision lead to another, and things were shifted around to accomodate, and we took on the roles that we had to.  And if we could turn back time and were faced with the same situation again...neither one of us would change a single thing.

In 2009 another surprise came about in the form of a letter.  It stated that the mother of my son was in trouble with the courts, and that her kids were being removed from her custody.  This after 14 years of phone calls, letters, and trips to Ohio trying to get any bit of information of his whereabouts and well-being.  The child support agency kept claiming "we can't tell you anything because of the privacy laws" but yet they could keep taking my money.  The next day I made a phone call, plead my case, and less than a week later talked to Vince for the first time since he was 2 years old.

The last long-awaited surprise came just a few months later when we found out that Missy was pregnant.  All of the trips to the doctor...all the fertility drugs...running to and from West Penn Hospital for different procedures.  It got to be a standing joke that it was going to cost us more to get pregnant than it was to raise the kid.  Then it happened, and all she did was stop taking everything the doctor's had her on.  And in March of 2010 Ashlyn was born.

Unfortunately I wasn't there to witness the birth of Vince or Aubrey, so I can't say how my life would have changed at those moments.  What I can say is that I'm proud to be the father of 3 wonderful kids, and that I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I have a loving wife that is my best friend, and who has stuck by me against all odds.  The tattoo on my left arm is a symbol of the bond that we have, and something that will remain with me even after my time here is done.  And that I would not change.

21. September 2011 23:56 by Admin | Comments (0) | Permalink